Oompa Loompa Doompadee Doo
by AlphaChica
Summary: Soymilk river, tofu, brussels sprouts and brocoli. Sound like a nightmare? My version of a nightmare Loralai would have.


Hi, readers this is just my version of a Loralai nightmare.  I plan on writing more one shot nightmare for various members of Stars Hollow and Hartford.  Tell me if you guys like it then I will continue. Enjoy the story, and please try not to flame me.

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OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO 

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It was just another day in the Gilmore household Rory was out on a date with her boyfriend Tristan and Loralai was at home watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory due to the fact that her boyfriend Luke couldn't leave the diner. 

_OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO_

_I'VE GOT ANOTHER PUZZLE FOR YOU_

_OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADAH DEE_

_IF YOU ARE WISE YOU'LL LISTEN TO ME_

_WHO DO YOU BLAME WHEN YOUR KID IS A BRAT_

_PAMPERED AND SPOILED LIKE A SIAMESE CAT_

_BLAMING THE KIDS IS A LIE AND A SHAME_

_YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO'S TO BLAME_

_THE MOTHER AND THE FATHER_

_OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DAH_

_IF YOU'RE NOT SPOILED THEN YOU WILL GO FAR._

_YOU WILL LIVE IN HAPPINESS TOO_

_LIKE THE OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DO_

She sang along with the movie as Mr. Salt went down to get his daughter Veruca, but Loralai fell asleep and woke up once again to the sounds of Oompa Loompas.

Scrabbling up Loralai looked at the room that she occupied in puzzlement, "why dose this look like the Lickable Wallpaper from Willy Wonka's chocolate factory?" she wondered out loud.

"Oh silly mistress because it is," said a voice behind her startled Loralai turned to see an Oompa Loompa rocking two cribs.  

"Uh," said Loralai.

"Does mistress not remember anything?" asked the Oompa Loompa.

"Um," said Loralai.

"I'm so glad that mistress married Master Willy and had his children, I didn't like that Charlie Bucket," said the Oompa Loompa.

"Cool I'm the queen of Wonka land," said Loralai "I can get all the chocolate I want.  Where is Rory? And get me some chocolate from the river."

"There is no chocolate river, chocolate is bad for you.  Who is Rory?" asked the Oompa Loompa.

"My daughter," said Loralai.

"You don't have a daughter, you only have a son," said the Oompa Loompa.

"What?" asked Loralai "no chocolate and no Rory?  What about coffee?"

"Why are you asking for vile poisons mistress?  Master shall be mad if he heard you asked for all of them," said the Oompa Loompa.

"Um, can I see my baby?" asked Loralai curious.

"Of course mistress," said the Oompa Loompa showing her the baby.

"Ugh, he reminds me of Kirk," said Loralai.

"That's his name mistress," said the Oompa Loompa.

"Um can we please get out of this room?" asked Loralai.

"It's nearly time for your lunch we have to go to the river, a table has been set up for you and master," said the Oompa Loompa.

"Okay lets go," said Loralai and what a shock she got the chocolate river was a ::gasp:: soymilk river.  She walked over to the table and sat down she then felt a hand on her shoulder, turned and let out a short scream.  It was Taylor dressed as Willy Wonka.

"Hello, darling," he said taking his seat as Loralai was still digesting this information.

"Um hi," she replied.

"Looks wonderful," said Taylor at the plates placed in front of them.

"What is it?" asked Loralai.

"Why our favorite of course, steamed tofu with horse radish sauce on the side, with boiled Brussels Sprouts and broccoli, and soymilk fresh from the river," said Taylor.

"Excuse me," said Loralai "I'm feeling ill, I need to go rest."

"I hope you feel better by tonight," said Taylor with a leer.

"Oh God, I think I'm going to be sick," said Loralai running to the room, shut the door, and took deep breaths.

"Mistress, your sons want to see you," said an Oompa Loompa from the other side of the door, so she opened the door and screamed "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa," they all looked like KIRK.

~*~Gilmore House~*~

Loralai woke up screaming as the next song was playing on the TV as Mike was taken to the Taffy-stretching room.

_OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO_

_I'VE GOT ANOTHER PUZZLE FOR YOU_

_OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADAH DEE_

_IF YOU ARE WISE YOU'LL LISTEN TO ME_

_WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A GLUT OF TV_

_A PAIN IN THE NECK AND AN I.Q. OF THREE_

_WHY DON'T YOU TRY SIMPLY READING A BOOK_

_OR COULD YOU JUST NOT BEAR TO LOOK_

_YOU'LL GET NO_

_YOU'LL GET NO_

_YOU'LL GET NO_

_YOU'LL GET NO_

_YOU'LL GET NO COMMERCIALS._

_OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DAH_

_IF YOU'RE NOT GREEDY YOU WILL GO FAR_

_YOU WILL LIVE IN HAPPINESS TOO_

_LIKE THE_

_OOMPA_

_OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DO_

"Loralai, Loralai wake up," said Luke shaking her shoulders.

"What oh Luke, thank God that was such a horrible nightmare," said Loralai.

"It's okay Loralai, I actually came here to tell you something," said Luke.

"Oh what is it?" asked Loralai.

"Well, just remember that I love no matter what," said Luke.

"What did you do?" asked Loralai.

"Here I bought you something," said Luke giving her a box of double fudge brownies and eight coffees.

"Oh my God Luke how bad is this?" asked Loralai.

"I have been cheating on you," said Luke looking at the carpet.

"WHAT?  With who?" asked Loralai.

"Um Kirk," said Luke guiltily.

"Excuse I'm sorry but d-did you just say Kir-Kirk?" asked Loralai, Luke nodded "the one who has the satanic cat?" 

"Do you know another?" asked Luke.

"No, but I was hoping that you knew another, hopefully female," said Loralai.

"The only reason I'm telling you this is because we have decide to elope to Atlantic City," said Luke.

"Luke you really need to leave right now," said Loralai.

"Loralai I--," started Luke but Loralai just held up her hand.

"Just leave Luke," said Loralai.

"Good bye Loralai," said Luke leaving.

Loralai chugged down four coffees before finishing half the box of brownies and chugged down another four coffees.  Eventually falling asleep crying, a while later she woke up as she heard a car in the drive way and the end credits were rolling. 

_IF YOU WANT TO VIEW PARADISE_

_SIMPLY LOOK AROUND AND VIEW IT_

_ANYTHING YOU WANT TO, DO IT_

_WANT TO MAKE THE WORLD_

_THERE'S NOTHING TO IT_

_THERE IS NO LIFE I KNOW_

_TO COMPARE WITH PURE IMAGINATION_

_LIVING THERE_

_YOU'LL BE FREE_

_IF YOU TRULY WISH TO BE_

"Oh good it was just a nightmare, what a weird night," said Loralai as Rory walked in with a dazed look on her face.

"Everything good in Tristanland?" asked Loralai.

"Perfect," said Rory "wanna hear about it as we go to bed?"

"Sure," said Loralai walking with her.

"So how was your night?" asked Rory.

"Just had the most horrible nightmare, but forget about that it will never happen," said Loralai walking towards Rory bedroom.  Neither noticed the half empty box of brownies or the empty coffee cups.

**PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.**

**VOTE ON THE NEXT NIGHTMARE IN THE SERIES:**

**~_Rory_**

**~_Emily_**

**~_Paris_**

**~_Jess_**

**~_Dean_**

**~_Or any other character you suggest_**


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